The Wild Island Times December 2012

News and Views from the Island
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The Wild Island Times December 2012

Post by compwiz »

It's late on Christmas morning here at our "Bermuda Villa ( Casa Fiesta)". And everyone is still sleeping. There is no sign that Santa Claus stopped here last night. Although he may have made a low pass over the coconut palms in the back yard, seen and heard the noise and decide to give it up. Everyone here at the villa last night (4 guests and 10 chicas) seemed to make Santa's Naughty List. Let me explain. It started out as a Baby Doll Night with a strip tease contest. But then it morphed into what looked like was going to be a naked pool party. Then it just turned into a naked house party. Everyone was naked, girls, guys, hosts (even Indiana ). This was a birthday party for a new guest, Emilio. And what a party. You would have thought that everyone would be partied out after two straight late nights at the Cabarete beach clubs. But sometimes the very best parties just seem to be spontaneous. The Christmas eve party was just that.
Tonight, Christmas night, should be a little tamer with plans for a private party our group at a small Dominican open air restaurant and bar with a terrace overlooking the lights of Sosua Bay below. Just a typical Caribbean dinner with fish, crabs, shrimp, and chicken , along with some wine and champagne.. And plans to head home to the villa around midnight.

December as been what Confucius would say " An interesting month in interesting times". We have made the move for our main villa from the Beachcomber to the new Bermuda Villa / Casa Fiesta. We made the move from the Beachcomber after it was "sold out from under us" and before we had a chance to finish forming a limited partnership to exercise the option to buy it for 750 K. But we have done very well with the move to the Bermuda Villa . It is , without a doubt, the most luxurious and comfortable villa that we have had in twelve years. And we still have access to the other two beachfront villas, the Sandcastle Villa and the Pirates Grotto for special weeks , and as needed. The Bermuda Villa is not on the beach but we run a daily shuttle to the beach 5 minutes away.

Looking back, the last 3 months of this year have flown by, incredibly fast. October this year was our best October ever . And Halloween Week was truly one of the best Halloweens at the MWV Villas. Then the month of November was "over the top" , most notably with the return of CANADA WEEK to the villas.

I usually calculate one case of beer per day for each "normal" guest at our villas. That includes beer consumed by the girls also. So with 5 guests and 12 girls I will buy 5 cases of beer daily. And that is usually a good estimate. But, hold on. With a villa full of Canadians here we DOUBLE the estimate of daily beer consumption. Two cases ( 48 beers ) per each Canadian guest.

You know. We Americans sometimes forget what our Canadians brothers have contributed to our language and culture. For example : Michael J. Fox, John Candy, Celine Dion, Justin Bieber , Pamela Anderson, and Dudley DooRight of the RCMP. And you have gotta admire anyone who can think up a name for a Canadian town like Regina ( rhymes with Vagina). Canadians were the first to use pop tops on beer cans, and later to put beer in bottles instead of cans. And by necessity, they invented twist off caps. It almost put Canadian dentists out of work ( How do open a bottle of beer when there is no opener ? With your teeth of course). Also, what would pancakes be without maple syrup.? Did you know that the Canadian mafia figured out a way to steal two billion dollars of maple syrup from the Strategic National Maple Syrup Reserve? I know that it sounds incredible but it's true ( just send a PM on our web site's BB to "Captain Uno" for a copy of the Winnipeg newspaper story).

There are accounts out there that as a reaction to the news that Canadian birth rates have take a precipitous drop in this last few years, a plot was invented to precipitate a players strike to cancel the hockey season. And what do you do when there is no hockey on TV on those winter nights?

We Americans frequently use English terms that were "invented" by our northern brothers. Those that spend too much time in the bush. There are phrases (some with double entendres and sexual connotations) that have found acceptable everyday usage in American culture. For example " Buck naked", "bear ass naked", and " deer in the headlights".

Golfing with Canadians is an interesting experience. I don't think that I have ever seen a Canadian play golf without drinking beer ( aiming juice).

Recently I saw some orange golf balls in a Canadian's bag. So naturally I could only imagine that they had been stolen from a putt putt golf course. But when I commented on it and asked about the orange balls my Canadian golfing buddy said that they use them instead of white balls when they play in the snow ( orange is easier to see in the snow than white balls). Well that makes sense , sort of. If playing golf in the snow makes any sense..

Canadian golf rules or etiquette are different than ours. Normally when a shot lands close to the cup ( maybe one FOOT away) we Americans say " That's a gimme", or "Pick it up". Everyone assumes , as gentlemen , that you will hole out the putt. A CANADIAN GIMME however is when the ball lands about one METER from the hole. Pick it up.

Americans play 18 holes of golf. But Canadian golf is different. Canucks will shorten a round 15 or 16 holes if : A.) the temperature exceeds 80 degrees , or B.) if they run out of beer before finishing the back nine .

Canadians are , without a doubt, the most fun loving group of brothers that frequent our villas. Most of them like to dance , so the nights that we go out to the beach clubs are a hoot. Nights out with Joe ( the girls called him Diablo Blanco) , Marco, Johnny Bravo, Bernardo, and Lennie (Leonardo) were a blast. NOTE names have been changed to protect the guilty. Joe is about 6 ft tall and 280 lbs but he thinks he is GUMBI. He did a pole dance at BAMBU CLUB and also a smokin' rendition of Michael Jackson. The club was packed with people that night but everyone made room just to watch him dance...

Canadians are surprisingly "slick" also. I watched Johnny Bravo as he used his Canadian pick up lines on a young French turista in Bambu Club. He sidled up next to her at the bar and said "I'll bet that I can pick you up." She looked at him incredulously and smiled . " I don't think so". Johnny said. "OK, how much do you weigh?"

During Canada Week, Joe ( Diablo Blanco) celebrated his 29th birthday, and he did it in style. He did a "5 for 1". All of the other guests bought him a "Pardee Hour" , and he bought one for himself , as well. He came out of his room after almost an hour , sweating and looking beaten up, and headed straight for the pool. He said it was as "close to death as he has been". LOL. But congratulations Joe. You tied the record for most girls in one throw. He had a special "Dick Tracy" wristwatch camera and tried to capture some of the action "to share in the members section", but the camera was too steamed to make a quality video of the event.

Canada Week ended just a few days before Thanksgiving. We celebrated Thanksgiving this year at the Sandcastle Villa, with roast turkey and lobsters.
For the week we had veteran return guest Raymundo. And two newbees TR and Bucky. A good time was had by all. But a tranquil week. All of the guests , when they left, said that they would definitely be back sometime soon.

Then after Thanksgiving we made the move from the Beachcomber to the new Bermuda Villa on the first of December. Just in time to welcome Peter from Holland ( the girls nick named him Cheetos) . And then Carlos ( Carlito), Joe ( Joey), and Pica. There was lot s of rain that week but no one complained because there was plenty of "indoor sports". Pica was eager to go fishing . He had heard some of the reports about other fishing trips.
We tried to go out before Cheetos left but the weather did not cooperate. However, we did get out on the 48 ft Bertram the day after Cheetos left.
So it was just me, Pica, and Chy Guy ( when there is a fishing trip he is in).We left the beach at dawn and returned just 3 hours later. But that was enough time to catch 20 nice dorados ( mahi mahi or dolphin fish). I have gotta say that it was fun to be out on a boat whre EVERYONE aboard knew how to fish. At one time we had 5 fish on at the same time. Chy Guy, Pica, and I were each fighting a fish on our rods, and two more fish crashed the other rods. Both of the mates plucked up those rods and fought the fish. We landed all five fish. Into the boat and in the large below decks fish box. We were a little "miffed" when the captain took us back to the beach after only 3 hours . I think that we could have caught 40 fish if we had stayed out another 2 hours.

But that is the way that the fishing has been this winter. The best fishing that I have seen in more than 4 years.

It was a good thing that Pica had only a couple of more days to stay after the fishing trip. I think that if he had stayed another week the girls would have killed him. Death by sex. LOL. But it was so much fun that that he made a reservation to return in May for "Bomba Week" ( Bomba's birthday).
We are looking forward to it. And we are looking forward to seeing each and everyone of you reading this newsletter out there, in the new year to come.

Happy New Year and wishes for a entertaining and prosperous 2013 to all of our "brothers" .

Magnum Wilde
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